literature

OMC: 20 Ways to Annoy Edward

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Part 2 in a series of installments.

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20 WAYS TO ANNOY… Edward Cullen!

1. Give him a duck with a bite mark in it and say, “Bella got hungry.”

2. Tell him that Rosalie killed Bella.

3. Laugh when he goes to kill Rosalie.

4. Take his prized CD collection.

5. When he demands you give it back, warn him that you have a pack of angry werewolves behind you.

6. If he doesn’t believe you, release them.

7. If he does believe you, release them anyway.

8. Tell him that Bella is pregnant…

9. …with Jacob.

10. Laugh when he freaks out.

11. Run away when he finds out it’s not true.

12. When he’s thirsty, lock him in the closet with a human.

13. Lock him in a room with Jacob and take bets on who makes it out alive.

14. Tell him that Bella doesn’t really love him.

15. Whoop his butt in DDR.

16. Whoop his butt in Guitar Hero III.

17. Tell him that the end of eternity he’ll go to hell.

18. Then tell him that Bella’s going to heaven.

19. Smash his piano with a hammer – repeatedly.

20. Inform him that Rose and Emmett spoiled the backseat of his car, doing… something.

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Edward’s stony face scrunched up in anger. “Who is this person?”

“What person?” Emmett asked, trotting up behind his brother. His eyes read the list at vampire speed and his mouth expanded into a huge grin. “Wow, Edward, I guess that somebody really knows how to piss you off.”

Edward narrowed his eyes at Emmett, who was guffawing over numbers 8 through 11. “I guess everyone in this family is a suspect…” he thought. “I must trust no-one.”
OH MY CARLISLE! 20 Ways to Annoy Twilight People
Chapter 2

This comes after 20 Ways to Annoy Bella, so you'd best read that first. However, I think this would make sense alone, so don't sweat it.

A way to annoy Jacob? Please let me know below! Much appreciated, thanks.

Critique is appreciated, as well!
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